still looking for me….

How many men does it take to open a beer?
>None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
>Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably
never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?

>It’s one of those “evolutionary things” that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

 >When she starts her sentence with “A man once told me…”
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How do you fix a woman’s watch?
>You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men break wind more than women?
>Because women can’t shut up long enough to build up the required
pressure.
>———————————————-
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?

>The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.
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What’s worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

>A woman who won’t do what she’s told.
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I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive
by 90%. It’s called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
>They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street
with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man
and rested.  Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
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Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and to the select few women
>who can handle the truth